The United States of America: Behind on Paid Leave

The phone rang.  I was in a glass edit bay looking out a newsroom buzzing with activity.  I had been out in a live truck all morning covering an overnight shooting in the Kansas City metro area.

It was Mrs. Rookie Dad.  This is the 3rd time she has called me that day.  I had been anticipating a phone call from her to tell me that it was time to go to the hospital for a few days now.  The newsroom had been put on baby watch, knowing that at any moment I would have to leave.

But that morning, the calls from Mrs. Rookie Dad had been what I like to call the “nothing” phone call.  A call that can wait until I come home to discuss.  We were at the point in the pregnancy that I couldn’t just let the phone go to voice mail.

I picked up the phone and in my head I remember thinking, “Now what!” but on the other end of the phone before I could get out a hello, I heard:

“My water broke!”

Instantly, a feeling of guilt rushed over me as I stopped momentarily to think and regret what my thoughts were that morning. I realized that would be a memory I would never forget, the thought that went through my head when the Kid was born.  That immediate regret turned into a smile and happiness though when the Kid was born at 2 A.M the next morning.

The Rookie Dad holding his newborn son.

The moment that the Kid was born, my paid paternity leave started.  It was only two weeks of paternity leave, more than what most new fathers get.  Most get none.  I was one of the lucky ones.

Growing Up Outdoors

When I was a kid, there was no MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, or smartphones.  We were forced to go outside and run in the streets.  20 years ago it was a different time.  Myself and our neighbor kids ruled the street.  We had a tree house in an empty lot down the street, to which you needed the secret password to get into, until the city came to tear it down.  Scouting was big in my hometown and I cannot count the weekends that I spent camping out with our Boy Scout troop.

My favorite memory of those many camp outs was a starry cold night at Scott Lake in Western Kansas.  We always stayed in the same cabin on the east side of the lake.  It wasn’t very big.  In fact it only had one room with nothing but a fire-place in it to keep the place warm a bunk bed and a few extra mattresses for us all to sleep on.

The cabin was right below the bluffs to the lake.  At the time, there were three cabins along the side of the bluffs each about a quarter-mile apart.  To our troop’s camp fire story-teller, he called them the Troll houses.  I realize now that this “Troll” family traveled from campsite to campsite, sometimes they were in different states then the story we were told a month before hand.

Just down the dirt road from the cabin and across a highway, there was a small boat dock that we would send ourselves off in our canoes to explore the lake.  By that boat dock, there was a section of thick cat-tails that was no larger than a football field.  This cool crisp night, the cat-tails were laying flat.  They were thicker than the humidity on mid-summer day.  So thick in fact that, you were able to walk on top of them without even touching the water.

Lessons Learned from Disney’s Planes Fire and Rescue

Disney has done it again. They had a great children’s movie in Planes and before the success of the movie even started they were already preparing their new movie Planes Fire and Rescue. This time however unlike Cars 2 they did not ruin the movie franchise.

If you want my opinion, Planes Fire and Rescue was better than the first Planes. I believe that Disney hit it out of the park with this one. There is much more emotion and even brought me to tears when Dusty went… well you will just have to watch the movie for yourself.

Reflecting upon our viewing on opening night of Planes Fire and Rescue, I realized how much meaning there was behind this movie. There are many lessons to be learned and I hope that the Kid will someday fully understand some of those lessons that Dusty and his friends are teaching not just our kids, but all of us.

Life Doesn’t Always Work Out

For those of you who haven’t seen the Disney flick yet you might not realize it but Dusty’s racing days are over in Planes Fire and Rescue. Dusty has become a racing champion known around the world but in one accident, his racing days are over. Naturally, Dusty is extremely upset. This was all he wanted to be in the first Planes. He has no idea what to do with his life at this point knowing that he will never race again. Dusty along with the many who have already watched the movie learn that life doesn’t always work out. What you can do is the next life lesson that the movie teaches us.

If You Get Knocked Down Pick Yourself Back Up

Dusty has just learned that there is a way that he can save Propwash Junction in Planes Fire and Rescue, he can become a firefighter. He understands that this may the only thing he has left. Dusty understands that because he unable to race, he needs to do something to pick himself up, distract him from what is really bothering him, and save his home town and become a firefighter. He doesn’t let the fact that he can no longer race stop him from living his life. Much like in all of our lives, if you get knocked down pick yourself right back up and keep fighting. A lesson that many of our children teach us adults, but one as our children grow we must remind them.

 

Learn To Grow

Since Dusty has no firefighting experience in the beginning of Disney’s Fire and Rescue, he knows that he that he has to learn to grow into something that he is not. It isn’t his ideal scenario in life. Even though he doesn’t know how to be a firefighter he does everything he can to learn how to be one. He isn’t doing this for himself he is really do this for all of his friends back at Propwash Junction. He is learning while growing into a bigger and better plane. As parents, we must teach our children to become a better person. It is quite possibly the hardest job we have as parents.

You Can Do Whatever You Put Your Mind To

When Dusty arrives at Piston Peak, he makes up his mind that he is going to be a firefighter. Once this decision is made, he combines all the three lessons mentioned above: life doesn’t always work out, when life knocks you down pick yourself back up, and learn to grow. Knowing that this isn’t how life was supposed to work out, he is tested as a firefighter and is knocked down in many ways as he is training to get his certification but he learns from those upsets and grows from them. Dusty puts his mind to it, he really wants to be a firefighter, not only for himself but for Propwash Junction and everyone at Piston Peak. In the end, it all… well again, you will just have to watch the movie for yourself to see how it ends.

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This was the first time that I actually dove into a movie to see what it was really teaching the Kid. Not only that, but Disney’s Planes Fire and Rescue brought a tear to this grown man’s eyes. This may sound like most of the Disney movies, but one thing that Disney has figured out that many other studios haven’t yet, is how to drive these lessons home to their moviegoers and make the movie truly family friendly. Take my advice, go out and watch Planes Fire and Rescue, you, your children, and your family will not regret it.

This goes without saying though, that this movie is in dedication for those first responders who put their lives on the line every single day.

In The End I’m The One Being Punished

I am sitting at work networking with my colleagues from other PBS stations. PBS is a different world than most TV stations in the sense that we are always sharing ideas and I was searching for ideas and ways to make myself a better TV producer. That is beside the point though.

As I am sitting there emailing back and forth with someone and I hear my phone go off. I look over at it and it was a text from my wife. I wasn’t expecting to hear from her on this particular day because I knew just how busy her schedule was at work.

The text said “The Kid is in trouble! Got into a fight on the playground and punched someone”

Shock and disappointment rushed over me. Knowing that these behavior issues have been a problem at school with him I never know what kind of report I will be getting from his teachers.

Mrs. Rookie Dad and I begin to text back and forth about how we plan to punish him. Friday’s are his typical splash days at school and the teacher has already taken that a way for his behavior. We have told the teacher that we will back her on any way that she tries to correct the behavior issues and she is working with us as we try varies things at work as well. We decide he will definitely not get TV or get to play with his friends when we get home.

Later that night we are sternly talking to the Kid at dinner to make sure that he knows that punching someone is not OK. We make sure to tell him that we expect a stellar report tomorrow and suddenly one of us, I don’t remember who said this but if he doesn’t have one he will not get to go over and play with his friends tomorrow.

On the outside that might sound like we are just being good parents. Yes we are, however, what we forgot until about 5 minutes later is that the reason the Kid was going to go over to his friend’s house was because the two of us, Mrs. Rookie Dad and myself, were going to have a date night. Something that we desperately needed.

I wish that I could say that our date night was in the new Toyota Sienna but the car gods must be punishing me somehow because that won’t be revealed until tomorrow.

Date nights are something that Mrs. Rookie Dad and I do not get very often. Mostly because we don’t want to pay for a baby sitter. This date night as mention we really needed. We needed some time for just the two of us, something that most marriages lack. However, this night was jeopardy because of our kid. Naturally, because of his actions we are punished.

It might seem unfair that because of the Kid’s action, we have to be punished by not going on our date night. As parents we are tasked with making sure that our child has good behavior and will follow the rules. If that means that we have to lose out on our date night, so be it. We are being the parents that are taking responsibility for what our child is like.

(On a side note, the Kid did end up getting a stellar report and Mrs. Rookie Dad and I were able to go on our date night)

 

What Being A Dad Is About

I feel like I am going places in my current career, literally I’m going places. I never imagined that I would be a business traveler. I never thought that I would be spending a few weeks away from my family every year. That is what my career path has become. I never thought that I would be that person sitting in an airport, in a suit jacket, laptop in my lap, typing in a fury, all the while talking on the phone about work. On a recent trip, I stopped to smell the roses. I looked around me as I waiting for my Southwest Airlines flight. I am glad I did because I was reminded about what being a dad is all about.

I am sitting down in my seat at Gate 38, probably tweeting some colleagues who will be at the conference that I will soon be at. I am looking around and I see a dad, or I can safely assume that he is a dad because of the 2-year-old boy that he is talking to.

I don’t know this father and son, but being the people watcher that I am (I also wrote something like this a couple Easters ago), I watched their interaction. For one, I am a sucker when I see a dad and son sharing an experience together. I see this dad talking with his son showing him the airport. I see him showing the child the plane and different parts of it. I can tell by just how the dad the talking to the son, this is the boy’s first flight.

I cannot help but smile. I remember the Kid’s first flight and I remember doing the same thing with the Kid. There was an excitement in the Kid’s eye when the pilot waved at him. The rush of take-off as we soar above the clouds.

My son was calm during the entirety of our flights to and from Baltimore. But, I can’t help but think that this is partially because I built up our flying experience much like this dad was doing as I watched him with his son.

But this is what being a dad is about. Calming the fears, building confidence, and encouraging our children to be better human beings. It is easy to forget what our job as dads are. We get so caught up in trying to be a good dad that we forget what being a good dad is really about. I am just as guilty of this as I wrote about in a recent post. I did not calm the fears of the Kid has as he goes to sleep at night.

I wish that I could say that being a dad is easy. It isn’t. Sometimes it is leaving your wife with a sick child for a week to go on business so that you are a better employee for whomever you work for so that you can better provide for your family. Sometimes it is answering the difficult questions that your children have. Sometimes it is waiting up at night while your daughter goes out on her first date with a boy. Sometimes it is giving your child a BIG hug as they go off to college. Being a dad isn’t easy but it is those simple reminders like a dad and son sharing their first flight together that reminds us that this is what being a dad is about.