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I Hate What I’ve Become As A Parent


Now that I have you here, I don’t really hate myself as a parent. I love being a parent. I love knowing that everything that I do is going to someday influence the Kid to be a better person in society. But being a parent, has turned me into something that I never have wanted to be or become.

A Liar!

I don’t like lying. I REALLY don’t like lying to my son. It doesn’t set the right example that I want to send to my son. I want him to become a truthful person who people can trust. When he says that he is going to do something, I want people to trust him and know that he will get the job done.

That leaves me with the reason I hate what I’ve become, a lying parent.

The Kid is needier than my college girlfriend. I am not trying to make an excuse, because let’s be honest, the Kid is much cuter and I would do absolutely ANYTHING for him. At some point though, like my college girlfriend sometimes you just have to let go.  I am not talking about deleting her number out your cell phone or unfriending them on Facebook (you stayed friends on Facebook just because you want to see how bad their life has been since breaking up with you).  I am talking about the need to always have the other person around.

I Hate What I Have Become As A Parent - The Rookie Dad

The Kid needs Mrs. Rookie Dad or myself cuddling with him to go to sleep. This was fine in the beginning. As time went on though, it began to get annoying. Mrs. Rookie Dad and I both agreed that the Kid needed to be able to go to sleep without the help of us.

This might not sound like such a big deal however, he takes SO long to go to sleep  that I have resorted to staying in his bed for about 10 minutes and leaving. He proceeds to ask me if I will come back to cuddle with him. I promise him that I will but I need to get a few things done first.

Thirty minutes later, the Kid is sleeping, and I did not go back into to cuddle with him. I broke my promise and lied my son.

At first I did not realize what I was doing. It hit me like load of bricks one night when I sat right here in this easy chair, staring at this computer screen, writing a post for this blog.

This is not the kind of parent I want to be. I want my son to be able to trust me and know that he can count on me when I say that I am going to do something. Not only is this telling the Kid that it is OK to lie to people, but it is also telling him that it is OK to not follow through with your promises.

By now, I have usually come up with a solution to this problem. I can sit here having discussed this issue with Mrs. Rookie Dad and we have figured out the plan of attack. But since I am no child psychologist, I have absolutely no idea what do.

This is one of those times that you wish that there was a parenting handbook that you could follow. It would tell you if an action when your child is 3, would really affect him when he is a teenager.  Someone should really get on writing that parenting handbook.

All I can do at this point is to explain to the Kid that following through with your promises is what a good boy does and that a good boy does not lie to his friends and to his parent. I just hope that what I am doing by telling him that I am going to come back to his bed will not tell him that it is not OK to tell the truth and keep promises.

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About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on July 9, 2014, in Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. My son is like that too. He wants me to lay with him until he goes to sleep, and yea sometimes it takes a long time. After about 10 minutes I get up. I tell him that I have a few things to do, which I do, and that I’ll come check on him. When he asks if I’ll come lay back down I tell him no he needs to learn to sleep on his own and I remind him that I’ll come check back in a few minutes. At first he was staying up waiting for me. After a few days he started going to sleep after I checked on him once.

    I think things like this are harder on the parent than the kid.

  2. Snuggle with him as long as he wants you to do so. He is only going to want you to do that for a little while. He will grow up way too quickly.
    Instead of thinking of it as a chore, think of it as a privilege, that will expire before you know it. You will never regret extra time spent with your child. He will learn to sleep alone eventually. Relish that he wants to be near you while he still does.

  3. Lying is one of the greatest tools in the parenting arsenal. Just don’t use when your kid can verify that you lied. And if you’re found out, create another lie to cover up the first. Luckily, this is not that hard, since your kid believes you to be honest (the little chump), and since you have been developing your lying abilities for many years.

    With that being said, I agree with Gina. Just set a limit to the length of time you lie there with him wishing you were watching the latest Game of Thrones episode.

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