Sweeping Epidemic

There is an epidemic sweeping this nation.  Parents, grandparents, and family alike need to be aware of what is happening.  No this does not involve the latest Bumbo Chair recall.  This is far worse than that.

Babies, toddlers, and children alike are acting like dogs!

There is no rhyme or reason behind this.  Scientist believe that there is a part of the brain that triggers the animal instincts in young kids.  There is nothing that can be done about this.  Scientist have tried multiple approaches to solve the problem with no results.

The actions of these kids are catastrophic to the home.  As you walk through your home, you may hear a crunch from under your feet and see that it is a graham cracker you gave your child two nights ago.  As you clean you will find more food related items laying around in strange places of your house.  The culprit of these hanis actions, children.


The culprit…. graham crackers! (© The Rookie Dad)

In my unscientific opinion the only thing one can do to solve this epidemic is to not feed your children in the living room.  You can do one better, do not feed them unless they are sitting at the table.  Your floors and feet will appreciate it.

About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on August 16, 2012, in Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. We have a goldfish epidemic. Tey implode into dust on impact.

  2. We also learned the crunchy way to have food eaten at the table.

  3. For some reason even when we eat at the table (which we do almost exclusively) it still manages to end up EVERYWHERE. There’s the rice that sticks to every fold of their clothes and falls off as they run around the house, the raisins that stick to the bottom of their sticky little feet and then fall off exactly where I’m about to step, the cheerios that they stuff in their pockets and then throw around to trample into dust when I’m not looking.

    Reading that, maybe I just need to get better at cleaning them up before they leave the table. lol

  4. And to think all those years as a Social Worker investigating child abuse I thought it was a dog leaving all the stuff I would find in people’s living rooms! Oh wait…we are talking about food aren’t we? Sorry….got off on a tangent of my past career.

    I would love for us to be able to eat in the dining room again in our house but until we (or I) finish the home improvement project I have going on it doesn’t seem likely. Until I started the project we ate in the dining room faithfully.


    • We are eating our meals faithfully at the dinner table now. Partially because we would always feel guilty leaving the Kid to eat there by himself. But these snacks are getting out of control on the floor.

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