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The Sidelines


Last night I experienced something that I never imagined I would experience. While Hot Mama was changing a diaper, I watched her interactions with the Kid and I was amazed and for the first time in my parenting journey I felt left out.

Hot Mama and the Kid were just laughing and making silly noises at each other, just having a good time. I miss that. Hot Mama is a teacher/future law school student so her summers are off and she has spent a lot of time with the Kid.

This summer I have seen so much growth in the Kid that I am slightly jealous that I am at work all day. Hot Mama is getting to see all of this and I have to wait until I get home from work. She is teaching him new words, but I guess I can have some sort of comfort knowing that I am teaching him how to throw a basketball against the house. It is one of those things that I am just having to get used to with this new job. It has been a month and even though I am getting to spend more time with the family, I now suddenly feel left out. It is almost ironic, wait, it is ironic, I took a job to be a better father and husband, but as a result I am not. It is strange how that worked out.

While I know this will all change the moment Hot Mama begins law school as my role in my marriage and family will go from provider to provider and caretaker of both Hot Mama and the Kid. I love watching the two interact, I know there was a moment while I was taking care of the Kid that Hot Mama felt the same way that I did. All parents at some point probably feel this way. I just hope that this feeling moves past quickly and I can focus on being the provider and protector of my family.

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About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on June 26, 2012, in Fatherhood and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The guilt and jealousy sucks. I’m having a hard time with it myself. The boys are home with daddy today making periscopes and playing pirates. I’m at the office feeling sorry for myself. The boys want to go to the beach, the park, and the aquarium and it all has to wait till the weekend.

  2. My son is way closer to my wife than me and not for lack of me trying. I know it will pass and I am totally jealous. My daughter, on the other hand, is a total daddy’s girl so I don’t have the same feelings of being left-out.

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