10 Toddler Commandments

Lately, I have been thinking. Most toddlers are alike and live by 10 commandments… here they are.

  1. Thou shall live on a diet consisting only of Goldfish Crackers (or insert your toddlers favorite food here)
  2. Thou shall get sick at most inopportune time
  3. Thou shall not play with toys but with everything else
  4. Thou shall not sleep in
  5. Thou shall stop whatever cute activity the moment the camera is pulled out
  6. Thou shall pee on the walls
  7. Thou shall see how many positions I can poop in
  8. Thou shall move all the water from inside the bathtub to out of bathtub but splashing
  9. Thou shall want to help with everything Mom and Dad does
  10. Thou shall go off the all crazy when Mom and Dad are tired

About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on May 1, 2012, in Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. This is gold. I love it. May I add one for the bathtime: Thou shall poop in the bath!

  2. that is a very true list…you forgot number 11…thou shalt be the noisiest child alive once I pick up the phone.

  3. Funny stuff because it’s so true. I like #2.

  4. Your Wife (aka Hot Mama)

    Thou shalt refuse to use a toy for its intended purpose (cars become projectiles, puzzles become chew toys, books become coloring pages, etc).

  5. When he gets a little older, “Thou shalt knock on the door and need me desperately every time I’m in the bathroom” will become relevant.

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