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A Little Advice


For those of you who are avid followers of my blog you have probably realized that I am not the best person to seek advice from in the parenting world.  I will tell you how it really is.  Last night however, I realized just what we went through and how big the payoff is.

My best friend and his wife were visiting last night and they are expecting a little girl in May.  They were curious about all the parenting stuff that we do, because as a future parent you want all the advice you can get.  They were asking about how we do things diapers, diaper bags, baby food, all the good parenting stuff and what we thought worked and why.   Also having them over was a good excuse to get rid of some books!  I know that they both read this blog so I do want to tell them this, the books that we gave you are probably the best that we found, but that is us not you.

We were on the drive home from dinner and the girls were in the front seat talking about labor and like any women who is about to embark on the journey of labor expectant mama was freaking out.   Hot Mama was calming her down because Hot Mama knew exactly where she was coming from.   I was recollecting my thoughts from during that time and I remember even freaking out.   Probably more so then Hot Mama at some time.   I will not get into details of the conversation because honestly it is to damn early in the morning but I remember saying this…

Just remember this, in the end it is all worth it

Some of the best advice I can give to a new parent.  You will hear all the bad from labor and pregnancies because women love to torture themselves and other women thinking the worst.  I can not stop that one from thinking the worst during that time.  It is one thing that I do not understand about women when they are pregnant or talking to a pregnant women.  Do NOT tell them the horror stories, they have enough going on as it is.  Despite all the bad that you will hear, it is all worth it in end and everything will be alright.  Maybe that is just the eternal optimist in me.

My second piece of advice is this, you have to figure it out for yourself.  Sure you will be going to family and friends if you have questions but the ultimate decision is yours and what you feel is best for your child.    I never dreamed of the day that I would be making the decisions for someone else and now look how he has turned out… a bratty know it all child who thinks the world owes him something.   They make books and blogs and all of that kind of stuff for what to do in certain situations or how far along your child should be and if you want to raise a child by the book by all means do so but do what is comfortable for you.   We found out that the books just freaked us out more than anything.  You have to figure out what works for you and that part takes time because in the beginning you do not know.

I may not be the best person to come to for advice on parenting but as I mentioned before this is all worth it in the end.

However, would I do this all over again?

Probably not!

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About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on February 19, 2012, in Parenting, Pregnancy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. from a fellow rookie dad… well said! I couldn’t have put it better myself 🙂

    • Some people may be confused by my last statement saying that I wouldn’t go through it again. I mean that as of right now we are ok with not having any more children because we are glad the early days are over and do not want to go through it again.

  2. I appreciate your honesty! Too many parents think they need to jump right in again and again without thinking it through…way beyond those first 18+ yrs!

    As an empty-nester mom, I look back and can not remember how I made it through those early years.

    But, as challenging as it was, I wish I could re-do it because I would slow down and put much less stress on doing it ‘right.’ Ha ha.

    Who can do it right? When do you know it was done right?

    Exactly! 😀

    Enjoy it all. A quote I read in the book, The Happiness Project, explains it best:

    “The days are long, but the years are short.”

  3. I went to a baby shower yesterday for a third baby and we all told our stories…but you can do that for the 3rd baby. I did tell my friends the God honest truth about being pregnant. There are some things you just don’t read in books. I can’t speak to childbirth as I ended up with a c-section, so I didn’t poop on the table! 🙂
    It’s a right of passage for women. it’s so traumatic that we have to keep reliving the experience and telling our story. We can’t help it. As much as we try, we can’t help it. I try and stop myself too, yet the stories keep flowing. although the story of my 2nd child is I walked into the operating room so that isn’t much of a story 🙂

    • I understand that there are the things you don’t learn from books or a child birth class. Those things need to be told but I don’t want to hear the details all the time! HAHA!

  4. A friend of a friend gave his wife tacit approval to try to have their second, but he doesn’t want to know when she’s ovulating or any of that stuff so he can maintain “plausible deniability” in case things go south with the new kid. What things? Well, probably their marriage if he’s that involved as a father now. It’s one-and-done for us and there’s no shame in that. The world is overpopulated as it is.

  5. I must admit I figure we are already in the trenches so why not get it all done while we’re here! I say this because RE-adjusting to no sleep after my son had been sleeping through for 2 years was hell! So now we have number 2 & 3 who are 17 months apart. It’s hard but as you say worth it.

    You give some great advice, especially about the labour horror stories, I have a horror story (right up to the husband showing up still drunk from the night before for the labour) and a couple of really great stories. Which one I tell depends on who is there but new mums always get the awesome hippy water birth no tearing one because I could have used someone telling my good stories for my first.

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