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Do I really have to think first?


As a blogger do you ever stop and think about what you are blogging about and how it will effect other people?  Do you have any qualms blogging about family in the hopes that they won’t see what you are saying about them?

I was recently starting to write a blog again about the choice to have only one child and spending some time with family confirmed that choice.  I was stuck in a particular section of the blog trying to figure out a way if I could do this without the possibility of the family members seeing it, quickly realizing I couldn’t I backed out.  Not wanting to cause a family war just because of my blog, I’ve already started one war, don’t really need another on the other front.

I know that I could have changed the names to protect the innocent and I could have just said that they were not family members, but that would be pushing my creative limits as a writer.  I share each and every post of my blog on Facebook and Twitter so that my family can keep up with the recent happenings with the Kid.  While the particular family members don’t have Facebook (wait you are telling me someone does not have Facebook?) I’m almost certain they would not see the post. I am friends with other parts of the family that would have shared it with said family members causing a huge family battle about parenting.  In fact just by me blogging about it right now, I am sure if my family saw this they would know exactly who I am talking about, what brought this up, and exactly what I would have blogged about if I had not thought about it first.

@hangingwithdad tweeted me when I asked the question to my twitter friends:

Always. I don’t want something I write to hurt friendships I have in real life. They are too valuable to ruin w/ online rant

Just the mere fact that I thought about how my blog could effect certain people will come as a shock to Hot Mama, as I have a pretty loud mouth and spit out whatever comes to my head.  In all honesty though as bloggers do we think that we can hide behind our blogs and online persona’s and believe that no one really knows who we are?  Or do we have to be careful about what we post so that we do not cause disputes among family and friends?

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About The Rookie Dad

I am husband and father foremost. Secondly, I am a PBS producer and contribute to Traveling Dads and Dads Round Table.

Posted on November 27, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I censor myself somewhat. I know who my family members are who read this and would never write something that would hurt them. Some of them are overweight, so I curb the writing of obesity. I also have removed posts when my dad started reading. There are some things that are debatable and then there are some things that would just downright hurt someone and those are what I would leave out of my blog.

    • I know the family that reads my blog as well and I realized that the particular family member that I was going to talk about, even though they don’t read it, would end up reading it because someone would say “Hey did you see what he wrote about you?”

  2. If the purpose of blogging is for others to keep up with recent happenings with the Kid, then keep to the relevance of that when you post. Inflammatory revelations do not have to be included. The drama of any given situation does not have to be communicated publicly.

    If writing is an outlet for you to sort through your feelings, reactions, frustrations and personal rights, there is always the option of journaling in a less private setting than on the internet.

    A few things I try to keep in mind:

    1) Anything posted on the internet/electronic media can potentially have an audience that is larger than we anticipated.

    2) Anything read, viewed or heard will be read/viewed/heard, processed and interpreted based on the perspective of the one reading/viewing/hearing. The response is not always, and in some cases rarely, based on the facts and intentions behind the post, the movie, the book, etc.

    3) The choice is mine as to what I post, naturally. Naturally, I do not have control of the response, nor can I anticipate what a response will be.

    4) What I say and do impacts others and it has a boomerang effect. It is often unfair and ridiculous how that in and of itself restricts “my” freedom, “my” rights. But now as an older adult, I can apply wisdom and discernment to my actions before I commit them instead of operating in the teen throne of, “It’s not fair”, “You can’t tell me what to do”, “Everybody hates me”, etc.

    5) When I live, act or speak from a foundation of strength, security and wholeness, what I impart to others is strength, security and wholeness. When pride and self-centered motives get in the way, life tends to be more messy than necessary.

  3. I know there are some bloggers who have family that reads their blog and yet still talk about very, very intimate details of their lives or rant about family members. That’s fine with me, it’s just a whole different relationship than I have with my family. We’re not the kind of family who talk about “those things” much and it would definitely hurt feelings if I ranted about them.

    So I’ll rant about things in general, I’ll talk about Isaac and parenting lessons I’ve learned, but nothing singling out anyone in particular.

    • I try to be creative about the ways that I do talk about family members if I do. I don’t call them out by name and will talk about it in a very general sense so they have no idea I am even talking about them.

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