Ok something has been bothering me lately. It something about me, personally. I don’t know why I have been this way, I realize part of it is because of the recent happenings in my life that I have been dealing with, but I’m healing from those and I’m healing faster then some people thought.
I’ve been a bad dad. I haven’t been helping my wife in the ways that I should be. She is going back to work this week and she is exhausted, I can tell. I haven’t been waking up in the middle of the night to either make a bottle or change a diaper. My two only defenses in this argument are that it does hurt me sometimes to get up out of bed since my chest is still hurting just alittle bit and I’m a very heavy sleeper. There are many times when she says that she didn’t get much sleep because Will was up all night and I didn’t even know it. According to my New Year’s resolutions, I haven’t been living up to number 2 and we are only a couple days into the new year.
With my wife going back to work I am going to have to pick up how I am a dad. I need more diapers changes (and chances to be pee’d on since I haven’t yet), more play time, and more feeding time. My wife I’m sure has become overwhelmed and resentful having to take care of it all right now.
I have become the father I didn’t want to be. The guy that doesn’t interact with his son, the dad that just sits on the sidelines while the resentful wife takes care of everything. I don’t want that. I’m changing right now! I’ve said it before, but with the recent events in my life I’ve become serious about some of the things I need to change, and this is it.